Regrets...

I saw her again, I can’t believe my eyes! She’s right there, right in front of me. Although I don’t think she still remembers me but I do remember her, her face, a face that will be forever etched in my psyche and in my spirituality. When my eyes crossed hers I felt a feeling I haven’t felt since...It was like being hit by thousand lightning bolts multiple times! Albeit she's already a distant memory and should remain as a ghost of the past, she is still in my mind and would always be in my mind and in my heart always! Her distinct features are still there and perhaps more beautiful than she was before. Ten years... it's only two words. But to live it is a long time. She is one of those things that hundred years hence I would still not be able to forgive myself for passing on a chance, a regret that will always echo deep inside of me, it is something that had already left a gaping wound that will never ever heal! She really turned my heart around! I don’t really know, looking back I feel really foolish, it’s like saying to myself “hey what have I done!?” I feel really useless, really empty deep inside, if I will be given another chance perhaps I will not make the same choice I have done before. I hate myself so very much for all those stupid decisions I have done. Sometimes I feel that death is really the only way to cleanse oneself of all the wrong things, wrong doings one has committed and of course death is the true path towards attaining true peace. Now I can only be with her in my dreams and forever grasp her hand under the never ending warmth of the summer breeze!